Don’t preach if you don’t practice
Lead by example as empty words have little value if they are not backed up by actions
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Paraphrasing the quote a bit and summarizing the content of this article in one sentence, we could say “Be the person you want to have on your team”. I always considered important not to expect different behaviors from other people than those I have myself. It is much easier to judge the behaviors of others and to have much higher expectations for others than for themselves.
Without delving too much into philosophy, there's another concept I've always liked sharing with people about judging others: when you point a finger at someone, remember that three fingers are pointing back at you.
What’s the reason behind all this preamble? The reason is that we often find ourselves judging the behaviors of people close to us as wrong without considering what we would have done in their place or if we might have influenced those behaviors in some way.
Team members closely observe the behavior of their leaders and tend to emulate it. This phenomenon of learning through emulation can be a powerful lever to positively influence the culture and performance of the team. People tend to emulate the behavior of their leaders for several reasons:
Credibility: A leader who asks the team to follow certain standards or practices must be the first to adhere to them in order to maintain their own credibility
Motivation: Seeing their leader committed and working hard can be a great incentive for team members to do the same
Culture: The leader's behaviors help define the company culture. If a leader demonstrates respect, integrity, and dedication, these values will spread within the team.
Setting a good example through actions is generally a positive thing. However, negative behaviors by leaders can influence others to adopt less desirable habits and create workplace dissatisfaction. And it is to prevent other people from adopting the same attitudes that we must be mindful of the example we set.
I've recently been reflecting on some of my actions and how I could have done things differently, especially in terms of setting a good example. These reflections have led me to write this article, which provides some practical examples of behaviors to be mindful of.
Be consistent in everything you do
Coherence is a must. Leading by example is about walking the walk, not just talking the talk. It's about being consistent in everything you do, from the little things like morning greetings to the big decisions that shape the team's direction.
If you preach collaboration but then isolate yourself, if you talk about innovation but then refuse to try new ideas proposed by your team mates, if you keep talking about the importance of work-life balance but then you're always online late into the night, your message gets lost.
On the flip side, actions speak louder than words. If you believe in the values you promote, if you are consistent between your words and your actions, if your actions show what you expect from your employees, then you can definitely have a positive impact on motivation, commitment, and results.
Let's look at some practical examples from notes I've taken over time.
😵💫 Multitasking
Multitasking may seem like it allows you to get more done, but it actually leads to decreased productivity and increased errors. There is a wealth of literature out there (a great resource is available here: Multitasking is killing your brain) that explains how detrimental multitasking is to people, so in addition to avoiding it for your own health, you should also do it to prevent others from following suit.
Multitasking during meetings is the biggest mistake you can make. It’s a big NO 🙅. It is disrespectful both to the people you are meeting with and to the additional activity you are doing.
Practical examples: no code reviews while you’re in a meeting; no answering to messages while you’re in a 1:1. Especially during 1:1s, please disable your notifications, they’re the most important meetings for a leader.
You enable team mates to do the same while they are in a meeting. It is common to see people distracted during meetings, while simultaneously receiving notifications from various software (e.g., Slack, GitHub, etc.) from the same individuals. While the issue is broader and would require further analysis regarding meeting quality and engagement levels, for the purposes of this article, I simply want to emphasize that if we are the first not to engage in this behavior, we can then ask others to refrain from such conduct.
I'm aware of how difficult it is to allocate time in our agendas when we are packed with meetings. But even so, if we have people stuck because of us, multitasking is not the solution. Instead, something that can mitigate the problem is booking dedicated slots in your calendar for specific actions (e.g., reviews, pair programming, etc.).
⭐ Feedback
One of the challenges in a leadership role is seeing immediate results from one's actions. Because of the nature of the role, responses come in the medium to long term. One of the few ways to improve and adjust one's approach with the team is to take the feedback we receive seriously. Showing genuine interest in the team's ideas and feedback is therefore essential.
Actively listening to feedback and showing the team that it is taken seriously is just as important as providing feedback to them. However, if we are the first ones not to make changes to our behavior based on feedback, how can we expect others to take us seriously?
No less than two posts were born directly from feedback received from team members:
💬 Communication
Communication happens at several levels and all of them require strong attention to avoid losing trust from the team. Mistakes can be made at all levels, from the top level, where the most strategic decisions are made without communicating them properly to the lower level, the daily level, where there is no communication to the team about what is being worked on. In order:
Do not make opaque decisions: if you make important decisions without consulting the team or at least explaining the reasons behind them, it will be more difficult for your team to feel comfortable communicating with you and keeping you updated
Do not override team mates’ decisions without involving them: If you disagree with a decision made by a team member, don't just override it. Instead, involve the person and explain the reasons why it was necessary to do so. Alternatively, if the work done by a peer is not satisfactory, don't redo it yourself to "speed things up". Instead, take the time together with them to correct the mistakes, using the opportunity to share your knowledge
Do not have a collaborative approach: The way you interact with people both inside and outside the team often sets the tone for how team members will behave
Disregarding team rules: As a team member, you are not exempt from the rules that apply to everyone else. For example, participating in rituals (standup, etc.) is just as important to you as it is to others
Promote private conversations: One of the biggest challenges in a remote company is ensuring information flows correctly. Favoring public conversations over private messages is important so that everyone can stay updated on decisions made. If you are the first to share useful information privately with the rest of the team, other members will not feel empowered to do so publicly.
TL;DR
There is one question we should ask ourselves regularly: "Am I the kind of leader I would want to follow?". Being aware of our actions and their impact is the first step to becoming a leader who truly leads by example.
Credits: Illustration 1, Illustration 2